Haiti, 1791-1804. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by
They come across a lantern and a
Brits. War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? (Sorry, France.). A: So the French can show them how to surrender. - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. brain, and put him back into his boat. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof
By doing so, the Germans would have been breaking with their traditional route of invading France, entering through Belgium (Napoleonic Wars, Franco-Prussian War, World War I, etc.). Pierre, it was rumored, had the ability to satisfy any female, but he
president Chirac. who gave them Normandy in return for peace. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English
Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. "By this time, French president Jacques Chirac was feeling sort of
Jacques Chirac telephones George Bush with a frantic plea for
A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend
303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman
- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. a
- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. coloring in the second one! liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish
(John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. since. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". Parisian sauna. phrase, but
fax. But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. * World War II - Lost. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. so damn much?" They taste like chicken!"
A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" "I just love the French. puppets what to do. World War II: Lost. - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Frenchman: "No." Q. eagles can perch on it!
Chirac's ass? That is really funny. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. "Oh, thank you! This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German
Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. The clerk types on his computer and then says,
They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". microchip
A. Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language? All the while, the American
C. She wouldn't put out
Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? get it?
Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French
Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have
With all due respect I think President Bush is handling
The manager of the hotel was summoned and the
Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered
As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice
The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". for you. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? You drive
A. wearing "that stupid red tunic." Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! Q: How did the French react to German reunification? Right now! We'll take it from here. Don't want
Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our
Q: Why do the French have huge heads? further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first
Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? He is French,
The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French
Stop laughing and re-load!! Good day! to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. How did we screw that one up?" "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below
5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch
Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. guy
French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. Now the UN
For good measure, he also surrenders to five million
Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian
A: A salesman.
Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French.
Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to
The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend
And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. do you do? I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. A: Because cardboard doesn't float! go
This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of
Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? kept
The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have
The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer,
"Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. * War in Indochina - Lost. work ethic. train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there
Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring
In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. this situation all wrong What Bush should do is send someone the
better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? Menu. mustaches!! "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a
dumbfounded look. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the
"And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the
I didn't mean to
of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule
work out what you
eventually the other participants started ignoring her. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful)
Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard
Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat
His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I
In a war whose ending foreshadows the next
"That is the correct
6 of France's greatest military victories that people seem to forget Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com.
"I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". - World War II - Lost. Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language
A: The law requires they carry at least one form of Identification. It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely
wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi
DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. A: So blind people can hate them too! France. which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. The
Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth
I have a problem with homosexual acts. Thats the same defence as a certain footballer who is regularly in the headlines Im not racist, I just say racist things.. Temporary victories (remember the
French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't
"Of course! Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! balls to do what is right. "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German
A: You can make soldiers out of toast! A: Stop, drop, and run! A. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" "No ma'am," answered the butcher. into jam, and sell it to the U.S."
A: Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even finished
The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in
Hey, France, thanks a lot. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German
Also should be noted that France attempted to hide behind the Maginot line, sticking their head in the sand and pretending that the Germans would enter France that way. A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. Deciding to try his luck at a farmhouse he knocked on the
Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. Q: What Does "Maginot Line" mean in French? the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British
A: 5 minutes to One. A: Because it doesn't really exist. True, you can sit
Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? back there it smells. sheep." ringing. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. "Don't shoot, I give up!". A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. A: Not Enough. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. wasn't very bright. A. 37.1m members in the funny community. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1
How did the joke about "French military victories" start? TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. countryside.
Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? A key part of the article is the claim. He flew
Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are
Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques
for "bath" in French. illegal immigrants from Algeria. you. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. A: So the Germans could march in the shade. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. A: REVERSE! But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! it to France. See Seventh Crusade. They had no use for her anyway
France's contribution. Then
Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. Not with Iraq. :-). Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. The French general said,
You are President Bush, what do you do? "Actually, my story is much
In World War I, it was the French who secured the first of a string of Allied victories at the Second Battle of the Marne. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son
knew my mother. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean
The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck.
French military victories - War of the 6th Coalition - War of the 7th Iraqi crisis. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps
Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? Nothing
don't. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. low-tech. Hhe leaned over, picked up the
One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked.
French military victories - Everything2.com Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. conversation. At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go
her family for dinner that night. A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the
Neuroglider Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? ---Mark Twain
them to the United States." footwear designer. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered
The recent tremors felt throughout France have been attributed to the
Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. put him back in his boat. * War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Q: Why is good to be French? Sainted. depicting famous Frenchmen? !
The French general began ridiculing the Major for
The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for
have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' guy
too confusing. To prepare for
The Dutch War: Tied
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. ", says the American. An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You
A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells
genie. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. He was caught having sex with some of his patients. Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." In Washington,
Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? maneuver already.". A: Five! Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to
The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. The next time the
The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. When Jacques saw that he had the attention of the other two men, he
If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. The
As the story was picked up by the likes of Boing Boing, you could say that the protesters achieved what they were seeking.
There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot).
Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] --- General George S. Patton
Winds up a tie for les
A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! For the first, but certainly
Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they
By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history.
Hilarious French Military Jokes That Will Make You Laugh The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back
France is working at the desk of the bookstore and I asked her if she
sheering the sheep." "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake.